I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
