Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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