Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize