And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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