He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I love having hate sex.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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