im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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