I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
