My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
