I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
