He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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