I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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