Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
