I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
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I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket