I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just found puke in my bra..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
