I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
