I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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