i already hear my dad disowning me
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
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She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
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On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.