Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.

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  (313): I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan. http://tfl.nu/kp2g
  Replies (31) Good night (757) Bad night (2611)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn

  (706): View more from Georgia

  And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her

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  (706): Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn (706): And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her http://tfl.nu/b039
  Replies (49) Good night (3278) Bad night (713)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.

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  (618): I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out. http://tfl.nu/syqz
  Replies (47) Good night (635) Bad night (5173)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Some perfection is debatable.

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  (720): Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday. (303): Some perfection is debatable. http://tfl.nu/oliz
  Replies (32) Good night (4093) Bad night (619)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.

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  (207): life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony. http://tfl.nu/6vet
  Replies (18) Good night (941) Bad night (2696)
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  (951): View more from California

  so let's talk penis.

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  (951): so let's talk penis. http://tfl.nu/oygv
  Replies (16) Good night (4481) Bad night (660)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Please dont jizz on my ds screen.

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  (850): Please dont jizz on my ds screen. http://tfl.nu/cm8h
  Replies (18) Good night (778) Bad night (5050)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.

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  (484): Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd. http://tfl.nu/wjyh
  Replies (33) Good night (3674) Bad night (1120)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight

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  (336): I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/7krg
  Replies (8) Good night (946) Bad night (3438)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it

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  (603): In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it http://tfl.nu/f0et
  Replies (8) Good night (1129) Bad night (2954)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.

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  (705): You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed. http://tfl.nu/gl5z
  Replies (12) Good night (4273) Bad night (851)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.

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  (803): Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one. http://tfl.nu/n5r8
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (1242)
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  (310): View more from California

  he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party

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  (310): he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party http://tfl.nu/v00e
  Replies (1) Good night (296) Bad night (929)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.

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  (713): Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off. http://tfl.nu/4xox
  Replies (7) Good night (858) Bad night (373)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia

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  (972): On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia http://tfl.nu/s5pu
  Replies (6) Good night (173) Bad night (810)

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