i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot