I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS