Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
