i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish you could order shots online.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
