8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
