Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
