nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize