I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
