We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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