she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
