if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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