Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
