you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
