if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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