How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
