I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
