i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
