I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
