"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Do vagina's smell?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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