We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
