I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
