just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
