I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize