He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize