come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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