i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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