dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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