I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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