ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize