I only kidnapped one of them. chill
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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