sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Houston, we have a blender
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
