think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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