know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
