I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
