wanna go halves on a baby?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize