i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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