Tell her she can't have a vagina
i was born a porn star she said
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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