We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
