Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
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The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
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On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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