There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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