Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
