so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
