I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
