It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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