Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
