Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
