It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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