hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
