38 yer olds are good kisserssss
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
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making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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