How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
