I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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