An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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