Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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