she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
