Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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