Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
